Australian Emo Explosion
It’s enough to make you want to crap yourselves ladies and gentlemen.
It’s come to my attention that almost 50% of the population of Australia is now Emo. Why or how this has happened is beyond me. Apparently Emo’s have been running around New South Wales slashing kangaroos with razors and painting themselves in their blood. This has to stop. We all know that Emo’s are terrorists but attacking innocent animals is wrong.
The Australian Government is considering shipping all Emo’s off into the Outback where they will be forced to fend for themselves for once in their life. Of course if this happened most of the Emo’s would die. They’d be sitting there on some dusty old rocks wondering why the hell their iPod isn’t working so that they can listen to some Fall Out Boy. After an hour or two they’d get bored and start hunting for another kangaroo to attack. By then they’d be so dehydrated that they wouldn’t be able to move and would therefore shrivel up and die.
I’ve heard reports that the kangaroos are fighting back and that since last week 12 Emo’s have died at the feet of Kangaroo’s who have been defending themselves against the fringed cretins. If you live in Australia and see an Emo my advice is to run after him or her with a mop and smack them around the ass until they can’t move.
We’ve got to priortise the survival of the Kangaroo over the survival of the Emo. The whole Emo Scene thing is wearing really thin so it’s now time to task action against these mini-Hitlers!
