Alternative Ways To Kill Yourself
A Day In The Life Of An Emo Kid
Your First Date With An Emo Boyfriend
The scene is comprised solely of underage emo kids who invade dodgy nightclubs just to get hideously drunk and annoy the clientele. You cannot be described as Emo unless you have went to at least 500 gigs in the last year. You cannot be deemed an emo if you liked anymore than 1% of the bands that you saw. Otherwise you’ll be seen by your peers to be just another mainstream loving deadhead.
How To Dress Emo Scene In A Catholic School
The only way to be Emo in a Catholic School is to dress like a nun, especially if you are male.
As a male nun you will avoid being detected by everyone, including your class mates and teachers alike. This is especially true if you wear your nun costume at all times and manage to restrain [...]
Posted in Emo Scene | No Comments »>Annoying Emo Kids Should Be Seen And Not Heard.
Why do Emo kids have to be so God damn loud?
I remember queuing for a My Chemical Romance gig in New York for half an hour and I couldn’t believe how bloody annoying the fans were.
They kept shouting in my face in a hig- pitched screech and this was just the men! I felt like [...]
Posted in Emo Scene | 1 Comment »>Emo Gay Scene Kids To Be Made Illegal In Russia?
This is hilarious news and it wouldn’t be half as funny if it wasn’t for the Russian goverment’s hypocrisy.
You must realize that Emos and the Russian Government have many things in common. Both love Vodka. Both Emos and Russian statesmen are insanely depressed. And both are communists. You’d think that they’d make natural bedfellows, no?
Banning [...]
Suicide-proof emo razors are now available from Walmart
Walmart have responded to the wrist-slashing epidemic in the Emo community by introducing their own brand of Emo-proof razors into the market. The new razors are so blunt that it’d take 7 years for an emo to break the first layer of skin - even during a frenzied anxiety attack. Their bluntness also means that [...]
Posted in Emo Scene | 7 Comments »>Emo Isn’t Hot. The Emo Scene is Dying Out!
So Emo is the newest trend and is super hot? I don’t think so. Emo isn’t hot at all. How can it be hot to pretend that it’s cool to be suicidal and always want to die? It’s not hot to constantly talk about slitting your wrists, and about how being at home just makes [...]
Posted in Emo Scene | 24 Comments »>Emo Scene Girls Are The Most Annoying Thing Known To God
So today I was sitting on a park bench and I ran into the most annoying thing known to god; an Emo scene girl. It was unbelievable how annoying she was. I was just minding my own business when out of nowhere, all of a sudden this girl comes out of the blue and starts [...]
Posted in Emo Scene | 37 Comments »>The 50 Cardinal Sins of Emo
Live past the age of 27.
Go a day without crying at the beauty of nature and the inhumanity of man.
Admit that you’re straight.
Listen to music that does not sound like various barnyard animals being brutally sodomised by a banjo.
Eat [...]
The Biggest Emos On The Planet Uncovered
Dawkins is the ultimate cry baby atheist who spends most of his days weeping into the same can of chicken soup to try to ease the bitter pain of existence. He is seen by many emos to be the god of Angst and is currently planning to set up his own emo band with Robert [...]
Posted in Emo Scene | 13 Comments »>