This category contains posts that show you how to be emo and mocks those who have already made the transformation. If you are thinking of becoming an emo I recommend a full mental evaluation from your doctor. He’ll be able to sort you out with medication that will stop you from becoming emo and ruining your life.
Maybe you want to ruin your life and career prospects though. Maybe you want an Emo Boyfriend / Girlfriend. Fine. Just don’t say that I didn’t warn you!
“I’m Not Emo But Everyone Says I Am”
If you’ve ever found yourself saying this then you’re in denial. Just because you don’t dress scene doesn’t mean that you aren’t Emo. The truth is that there are many Emos who wear normal clothing who are every bit as emo as Peter Wentz.
How can you tell if you’re a repressed Emo? Well there are [...]
Posted in How To Be Emo | No Comments »>How To Be An Emo Guitarist And Play Emo Guitar Like Pete Wentz.
It’s breathtakingly easy to be an emo guitarist. The most important step is to never learn how to play your instrument properly. This makes lessons or instruction videos a no-no. Why give in to authority and learn scales or chords when you can make up your own ones? The same goes for tunings. Once you [...]
Posted in How To Be Emo | No Comments »>How To Start An Emo Band In 5 Simple Steps
Let’s face it, if you’re emo you’ll want to start a band in order to express your angst in the most frighteningly inarticulate ways possible. Now I’m ashamed to admit it but I spend a lot of time hanging around Myspace, torturing myself by visiting profiles of amateur emo bands.
I’m informed that this is a [...]
Posted in How To Be Emo | 7 Comments »>Emo Kid Death and Suicide. Prepare For Your Funeral Now!
As an emo you should be aware that you’re going to die, most likely in a terribly gruesome way. So why not plan ahead and organize your own funeral now? All you need is to do is to read the rest of this guide and search for a pen and a paper!
Who to invite..
You don’t [...]
Emo Suicide! The 21 Best, Alternative Ways To Kill Yourself.
Hello there my suicidal friend. If you were seriously contemplating suicide before reading this article then chances are you’ll be dead by the end of this article, now seek some proper help!
I suggest that you should only try any of these methods of suicide if you’re a skinhead, an ex-member of the Nazi party and/or [...]
How To Be An Emo Girl - 10 Steps You Can Take
I never wanted to be an emo girl but my boyfriend keeps insisting that I should make a little more effort to fit in. Why can’t I just be myself? I bet the creepy git wants me to dress up like him. Anyway from the way I see it there are a number of things [...]
Posted in How To Be Emo | 27 Comments »>
