Emo Boys Kill Badgers For Blood In Real Life
It has been revealed that people in the Emo community are convincing susceptible young emo boys to stone badgers to death in order to be accepted into the group. This came to light after 300 badgers were found lying stacked in a heap beside a row of empty vodka bottles by an ice cream truck in Vancouver.
Emos are infamous for their shockingly bigoted view towards Mother Nature with Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance promoting the mass genocide of spiders and cockroaches throughout the “Welcome to the Black Parade” album.
Now Peter Wentz of “Fall Out Boy” has condoned the killing of badgers simply because - they are - in his view “Godless”. Emos across the country are following Wentz’s advice - culling the animals as part of the Emo initation ceremony, which previously only involved bizarre sex acts and self mutilation.
The government is fighting back against this latest threat to the Badgers by implanting several grams of explosives in each of the animals which is triggered by a detenator attached to the creatures gut lining. The detenator itself is attached to a smell-o-meter which scans the air for smells that are synonymous with emos - namely sweat, urine, vodka, pineapple juice and badger blood.
12 emos have already been caught up in the explosions and many more casualties are expected over the coming weeks. This is a small price to pay to educate emos that badger-culling is a crime worse than self harm.
