Emo Gay Scene Kids To Be Made Illegal In Russia?
This is hilarious news and it wouldn’t be half as funny if it wasn’t for the Russian goverment’s hypocrisy.
You must realize that Emos and the Russian Government have many things in common. Both love Vodka. Both Emos and Russian statesmen are insanely depressed. And both are communists. You’d think that they’d make natural bedfellows, no?
Banning emo is absurd. It’ll just make people more determined to join the scene and it’ll drive the culture underground. At least now in Russia parents can easily see that their child is depressed if he’s an emo kid. If he’s not allowed to express himself in the same way then how is anyone meant to know how he is feeling?
If the Russians really wanted to tackle suicide they’d sort there economy out and ban Vodka instantly. Emos themselves will know how bleak life seems after an entire bottle of Smirnoff. But to be hungover in Russia is an entirely different ballgame. I’d rather carry my balls around in a sling than be subjected to that sorta shit.
Look at Boris Yeltsin for Christ’s sake. A man who was an alcoholic, depressed and a fan of loud rock music. Yeltsin was in effect an emo. Half the population of Russia are emos. And what’s wrong with that? Nothing! Emo is hilarious. Russia is hilarious. Boris Yeltsin is hilarious. Why ban any of it?
The only way to resolve this issue to ship a few million emos over from America to Russia as part of a cultural exchange program. Send Pete Wentz over to the Red Square and he’ll out half of the Russian cabinent as closet homosexuals wtihin a week. Then the government wouldn’t have a fecking leg to stand on.
