How To Make An Emo Laugh

How To Make An Emo Cry

Alternative Ways To Kill Yourself

Prepare Your Own Emo Funeral

A Day In The Life Of An Emo Kid

Worst Emo Hair Ever

Worst Emo Tattoos EVER!

How To Start An Emo Band!

The Emo Olympics

Your First Date With An Emo Boyfriend

50 Sins Against Emo!

Emos Online On Msn - Human Contact Has Never Been As Futile

Talking to emos on MSN is not fun. I’ve had the misfortune of talking to hundreds of them over the last few years thanks to this site and it’s not a pleasurable experience.

First of all they’ll harass you to start a webcam conversation. If you accept they’ll strip naked, grab a knife from their desk and hold it just over their arm. If you don’t respond to them within 10 seconds then they’ll start to move the blade closer to their arm until they finally draw blood. If you tell them to stop they’ll only cut worse. The best way to get them to end this is to threaten to phone their parents. Or to say that you’re about to call a psychiatrist. Emos are more afraid of psychiatrists than Scientologists you see.

Anyway since most Emos are attention seekers they will continually sign in and out of MSN with new screen names.  Here are a few common examples of the names they’ll adopt.

“Blood is dripping from my arm - the American government forces me to self harm”
“I hate you all. I’m gonna saw off my legs live on webcam and it’ll be your fault.”

If you ignore them just after they’ve signed in then they’ll get really mad. In fact they’ll become infuriated if you tell them that they didn’t go offline. See Emos never really sign off the internet. They just hit “Appear Offline” and then click “Online” again just so to draw attention to themselves. It’s pathetic. But it’s true. If you try to level with them then they’ll invariably start abusing you with the Voice facility on MSN making all sorts of demented noises.

The best way to deal with this is to laugh at them. They’ll ask you onto webcam again and will start to smash their head repeatedly off their keyboards. If you continue to laugh then they won’t stop until they burrow their heads through their computer desk.

All emos are pedantic to a fault. If for example you mispell a word they will only warn you once before finally blocking you if you refuse to correct your errors. Emos are grammar nazis. They pretend to be all liberal but when it comes to typos, they are fascists.

So if you’re currently talking to an emo please stop before it’s too late. Tell them that you’ll “brb” before putting them on block forever. It’s the only way you’ll ever be able to get anything done on your computer. Plus it’s not cool watching a young emo being self destructive.

25 Responses to “Emos Online On Msn - Human Contact Has Never Been As Futile”

  1. Zubeida Says:
    October 11th, 2008 at 10:03 am

    why the fuck are you dissing emos for?!?
    im not emo but i dont diss em
    its there life
    i tey choose to do tht to themselves, we cant stop them
    SO STOP FUKN DISSING THEM U PRICK
    DO ONE!

  2. Lexi Says:
    November 4th, 2008 at 6:42 am

    First off I admit im emo. But I disagree with everything on this website. We’re not attention seekers. The ones that are attention seekers are just attention seekers not emos.

    I’m so sick of people bagging out emos. Chavs and sluts are just as bad as us but you never pick on them.

    You say its stupid cutting. But you people are the only reason we do it. All we want is to be left alone and mayb have a few friends and to be understood not made fun of.

    Emo started as a group of mentally depressed outcasts and friendless loners. Its not a fashion statment its a state of mind.

    If anyone else disagrees with this website please dont send abusive replys to the blogs. Add me: Not_Like_that_but_Pretty_damn_Close@hotmail.com and we’ll take the right form of action against this. Non verbal violence is the answer.

  3. Pfffft Says:
    December 11th, 2008 at 4:11 am

    Wtf?
    If you plan on lieing about something you have probably never even expirenced before but have heard stories that your loser friends made up by hearing other stories from their loser friends at least do something less ridiculous then this.

    Again i say, Loser.

  4. Midori_Rayn Says:
    December 22nd, 2008 at 3:57 am

    -gasp- I want an emo on my msn contacts now :P lol

  5. Anonymous Says:
    December 23rd, 2008 at 2:09 pm

    i dont like to moan lmao

  6. Taylor Says:
    December 26th, 2008 at 8:49 am

    I luv emo peeps

  7. luvlevi Says:
    January 9th, 2009 at 6:56 am

    I admit too im emo.But none of thats true.so not kool.

  8. john Says:
    January 18th, 2009 at 9:07 pm

    emosssss suck!!!! get over ur selfsss

  9. lucas zanchi Says:
    January 20th, 2009 at 10:44 pm

    HeLoUU NiNaX E NiNoX
    tipo axxim tenhu esperiencia em ser emo a muito tempo mais naum tenhu nenhum amigo por aqui.....

    Todos aqles que quiserem mi add no orkut ou msn serão BeM ViNdOx...

    ORKUT:http://www.orkut.com.br/Main#Profile.aspx?rl=mp&uid=13797152837298791350

    MSN: lucaszanchi@hotmail.com

    BjInhuxxxx

  10. ? KTH Says:
    February 7th, 2009 at 12:43 am

    Umm , Okay I do not! agree withh you we ‘emos’ shouldn’t even be ‘labeled’ in the first place . . .
    soo get a life ?

  11. Brittany Says:
    February 9th, 2009 at 4:56 am

    h3y,i lik3 it wh3n em0 b0ys kiss their s0oo s3xy

  12. XAllieAmazingX Says:
    April 4th, 2009 at 12:47 am

    wow..like how amusing is this.XD
    And i am an emo girl,but this is funny as hell,bcuz we dont do anything like that.XD wow like u need to go get urself a life,if u actually had the time to make this whole website bout emos and putting them down,then u seriously need to go find ueself.

  13. Timmy XpureDrug Says:
    May 13th, 2009 at 1:46 pm

    hey , ther im timmy , & im an emo boy add me on timmy–turnur@hotmail.com xD

  14. selina Says:
    May 29th, 2009 at 6:38 pm

    hey im slina add me im an emo gilr selinajeff@hotmail.com

  15. selina Says:
    May 31st, 2009 at 6:25 am

    hey!!!!this is selina im an emo girl add!!!selinajeff@hotmail.com

  16. yes,im emo, got a problem?:) Says:
    June 7th, 2009 at 6:47 pm

    add me if u want, ill talk to anyone lawren-tee@hotmail.co.uk

    i love emo boys with broken hearts<3

  17. Karry.is.My.BFF. Says:
    June 16th, 2009 at 1:50 pm

    Why doesn’t n e one have yahoo..gosh like fuck msn hit me up on painted_vybz@yahoo.com ^.^…

  18. aaron Says:
    June 16th, 2009 at 8:15 pm

    not no

  19. piethra Says:
    July 3rd, 2009 at 4:20 pm

    quero ser emo

  20. EmoVampire1995 Says:
    July 7th, 2009 at 1:27 pm

    I am 14 from Dundee,Scotland
    add meif you live in that area

  21. EmoVampire1995 Says:
    July 7th, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    I have msn
    pwincess-carianne@hotmail.com

    forgot to add it on

  22. tairone Says:
    July 13th, 2009 at 9:45 pm

    jente add

  23. marina Says:
    July 14th, 2009 at 6:51 am

    Ima emo kid i dont cut i love to text alot and i love emo guys

  24. Mel Says:
    July 18th, 2009 at 2:31 pm

    haha, you show an msn name, but i bet you wrote that and took a picture of it. you are one of the most idiotic people in the world, ya know that? XD

    give us more laughs :)

    EMO FOREVER :) WE WILL LIVE!!

    .Mel x

  25. Mel Says:
    July 18th, 2009 at 2:33 pm

    my msn is xxmelinlovexx@yahoo.com :) ya know where to catch me :) check my name its never something to die. but if you emo bash me over the internet, be prepared for your email addy to be passed on to all my friends :) all of them XD put up publicly on facebook and myspace and passed as a note in school, written on all the walls in the corridors :) and on psters, hahaha!!! so dont try to emo bash me, emos, you can add me though guys, cos we are the awesomeness, better than this sad dick writing all this stuff on here XD

    .Mel x

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