“I’m Not Emo But Everyone Says I Am”
If you’ve ever found yourself saying this then you’re in denial. Just because you don’t dress scene doesn’t mean that you aren’t Emo. The truth is that there are many Emos who wear normal clothing who are every bit as emo as Peter Wentz.
How can you tell if you’re a repressed Emo? Well there are a number of symptoms you can look out for.
- Are you happy when it rains? Do you cry when the sun comes out? In the summer do you stay indoors and take 8 hour long showers if it is too warm outside?
- Is your drinking out of control? Whilst at a liquor store do you find yourself continually gravitating towards the vodka section?
- When at work do you find yourself repeatedly smashing your head off the desk for no real reason?
- Do you have recurring dreams about having a sex change?
- As a child did you conduct funeral services for your neighbours pets? Instead of burying them in the ground did you stamp on the body and throw the carcass over a hedge?
Unfortunately if you display any of these symptoms you are becoming Emo. There’s no way out so you might as well sit back and enjoy the ride. Remember to buy all of your clothes in black, wear Converse shoes and to never smile in public. Get a headstart by setting up a Livejournal and complaining about everything from your parents to the lack of sincerity in your own smile. You might also want to invest in a lifetime supply of razors for obvious reasons. Bandages are optional.
