Was Jesus A Gay Emo Who Cross Dressed And Prayed To Satan?
The evidence is mounting that our Lord Jesus Christ was an Emo who spent most of His days slapping himself around the head with a piece of wood. Christ who is often depicted in the west as being white, 6 foot 5 and a member of the Republican party in fact wore makeup and loved wearing his mother Mary’s clothes.
These stunning revelations have come a day after Bill O’Reilly announced that he was abandoning Catholicism and becoming an Atheist after speculating for months that Christ was in his own words “one of those closet emo fags”.
Christ the Emo pictured above is rumoured to have spent most of his days in a cave weeping and painting his manhood with pink lipstick. His father Joseph was so disappointed that his Son was “one of those queers” that he forced Jesus into carpentry. Christ who was as lousy at woodcrafts as he was at running away from people wielding a cross, only lasted a month in his job before he retired to his cave for 12 years. During this period he apparently befriended a stray talking dog called “Stalin” who taught him all he knew about ethics and morality.
Emos across the World can bask in the knowledge that there are as righteous like Christ and that there is no sin in drinking 6 bottles of Wine per night. In fact if you’re a teetotaller you are a sin head who deserved to be locked in Hell for a few billion years.
August 7th, 2008 at 12:10 am
“Stallin” only has one ‘l’.
Nice post! :o)
August 18th, 2008 at 12:01 am
This is WRONG!!!!
Emo is NOT bad!
You people need to understand that!
We don`t care what yuo say so STOP wasting your breath!
October 14th, 2008 at 3:38 am
Hey! I’m a christian emo! Thats total crap what u said! Shut up! U don’t even know what emo is u stupid poser!
October 28th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
u have no idea what emo is…im a true christian and im also emo…just because i dress the way i feel like it doesnt mean im totally against God…whoever is dumb enough to make this site needs to get their facts straight….and u cant hate all of the emo population…what if your best friend decided to be emo? would you then hate them?
October 28th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
thats bull shit what you wrote about God…go get a life and get rid of this site
November 15th, 2008 at 7:51 am
hey stop doing this! being Emo is not bad! we also trust in god, its just that we are so sensitive and so depressed because of our problems! ur so pathetic, u even use god just for your stupid blog!!! get a life!
November 26th, 2008 at 5:07 am
you dum mf-ers..omg this is sooo stupid and wrong!..plus “Stallin” only has one ‘l’..get a life already u pathetic idiots!!