How To Make An Emo Kid Laugh
I’ve spent 3 hours trying to find a picture of an Emo laughing on the Internet and this is all that came up. Feckin’ scary isn’t it? I think I might have just crapped my pants. This is the reason why Emos should not smile. It looks wrong because it is wrong. It’s an abomination against God. Besides this - Emos have nothing to be smiling about.
Mission Feckin’ Impossible
There are very few ways to make an Emo laugh. In fact in most cases it’s downright impossible considering they are the one of the most miserable species on the planet. However there are a few things that you can try that might cause them to laugh.
- Throw yourself downstairs in front of an Emo. If you holler enough on the way down the staircase they’ll mock your screams by saying “You’ll never feel the pain that I feel inside!”
- Slice off your entire forearm, attach it to a stick and go to the mall and steal old ladies handbags using it as a prop. Since emos seem to enjoy terrorising people that they perceive to be weaker than themselves they’ll usually burst out laughing. The smile will be wiped off their face when the first old lady turns around and headbutts them in the face.
- Shave off the Emo Kid’s hair whilst they are asleep and write “EGGY EGGY EGG!” on their forehead. Wait until morning and they’ll go to look in the mirror, laugh for a second before realising what’s happened and then lose their mind. Remember Emos don’t have the right to wear their hair how they want to. Exercise your right as a member of the free world and shave their hair off now!
- Fake your own death and force the emo kid to go around and console your grief stricken mother. Since most Emos are totally cynical bastards they’ll enjoy every minute of it. In fact they’ll end up telling your mom about how there is no Heaven and that if there was an afterlife (which there is obviously not) then you’d be in Hell.
- Attempt to light your own farts only ensure that you burn your asshole. The emo kid will laugh at your screams. If this pisses you off, why not hold his nose open with a clothes pin when he’s asleep, force feed him beans and then put a bunsen burner under his asshole. When he wakes up and asks “What’s cooking?” then it’ll be YOUR time to laugh.
- Emos love laughing at pets with amputated limbs that fall over regularly. So if you have a three legged dog like the one below, invite it out to play and the Emo will have hours of fun pushing the dog over. Of course the real fun will only begin when the dog has had enough and bites their ugly face off.
Why an Emo Won’t Laugh
So let’s say that you’ve been trying unsuccessfully for some time to make an Emo laugh. There are many reasons why he will never laugh and you’ll never understand him. At least without the following guide.
- Emos are in constant mental anguish that you and I could never begin to comphrend. If only you were aware of the sheer excruciation Emos have to endure then you’d immediately cancel all of your donations the Third World and offer them instead to Emo charities.
- If an Emo is caught laughing in front of his Scene friends he is immediately disowned by all of his previous buddies. Laughter is an abomination against emo. Giggling is for mainstream conformist losers. You cannot be happy and be Scene. You must pray to Satan every night for the complete annihilation of the human species.
- Emos aren’t sophisticated enough to have a sense of humor. This is because the average Emo I.Q. is only about 75. Yes that’s right. Most emos are less intelligent than Forrest Gump. Emos are aware of how totally mediocre they are and this only fuels their depression. Instead of going to the doctors and asking for help they always self medicate with vodka or moonshine.
According to a recent government survey, this man is 98% more intelligent than 90% of all emos. - Since most Emos are well below the poverty line and live in trailer parks, most of them can’t afford to buy vodka and have to consume their stepdad Skeeter’s moonshine which he made with bird shit and tissue paper.
- Since emo men are hideously ugly and spend most of their time looking in the mirror trying to convince themselves otherwise, they don’t have anything to be merry about.
- Emos are the most sensitive things on earth. They can feel everyones pain. They are like little moping Christs who kill themselves for your sins. Remember emos only kill themselves because they are persecuted by you and your jock friends. So it’s your fault. Yet they feel your pain and ask for nothing but respect in return. And you refuse to accept their gift of salvation.
August 24th, 2008 at 2:19 am
u stupid ass……i might not b emo but the people who r…….do these things cause they’re opened minded peoplewho feel they need some 1 2 love them…….i hav an emo friend and the only reason he’s happy is because i’m willing 1 giv him my friendship not because we laugh at other peoples pity
August 25th, 2008 at 4:14 am
u stupid ass hole!!!!!!! i am freakin emo and i freakin laugh all the freakin time and i luv animals and i feel bad 4 them when the cute 3 legged animals fall over and i help them up!!!!!! u piss me off so bad!!!!!! im gonna go cut myself because i freakin hate you!!!!!! and if i cut to deep and die youll feel the pain i feel!!!! knowing u did this to me!!!!! great! now i got blood on my moms couch!
August 25th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Hi there tara,
You might want to read this following page if you get too much blood on the couch.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080726142043AA5bOEK
August 28th, 2008 at 2:55 am
You Fucktard!!!! Knoking over cute lil three legged animals is not funny neither is shaving someones head you bitch! What the fuck is your problem you messed up asshole! You have absolutely no idea what emo is. Some of the funniest people I know are emo! I’m gonna go cut myself for your idiotcy… (retard!)
September 2nd, 2008 at 10:14 am
that is so offending….
September 6th, 2008 at 2:58 am
LOL. tarah ur a dumb bitch =]
September 8th, 2008 at 10:57 am
try makin me happy
September 9th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
rofl these emos are fucking hypocrites. its like im seeing jesus christ but millions of him! oh btw, emos youre not a ‘non-conformist’ if you look, dress, think, and act the same as every other emo.
September 13th, 2008 at 5:36 am
fuck you
September 15th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
UR A DUMB SOB IM EMO U DONT UNDERSTAND THE WORLD OF EMO, U DONT UNDERSTAND THE COMPLEXITY OF IT ALL AND HOW IT STARTED, U DONT UNDERSTAND HOW THIS WORLD CAME TO BE AND HOW MUCH PAIN HUMANS ENDURE EVRYDAY IN THEIR LIVES, DEATH IS TEMPORARY, THERE IS AFTER LIFE OFCOARSE, BUT FOR THOSE WHO PREFER GO TO HELL, WE EMOS HAVE A BOND U CONFORMISTS CAN NEVER HAVE, WE DONT SETTLE FOR LESS, WE DONT FOLLOW WE LEAD, WE DONT CONFORM WE REFORM, WERE NOT IGNORANT U R FOR THINKING WE ARE, WE LAUGH AT UR IGNORANCE OF LIFE, EVEN THE SMARTEST PERSON IN THE WORLD WOULDNT UNDERSTAND THE EVOLUTION OF LIFE AND PAIN AND HOW IT ALL ADDS TOGETHER, PAIN IS ALL AROUND, WE SENSE IT ALL THE TIME AND FEEL IT BECAUSE WERE BORN FROM IT, WE HATE THOSE WHO THINK THERE BETTER THAN EVRYONE ELSE, WERE INDUVIDUALS WHO CAN THINK AND ACT HOWEVER WE WANT, NOT EVRY EMO HAS TO BE MELONCHOLY, ALOT ARE HAPPY TO BE EMO, U DONT COMPREHEND THE EMO SO DONT THINK U KNO WUT U CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND CUZ TO UNDERSTAND AND EMO U HAVE TO BE ONE BUT U CANT NEVER BE ONE.
September 16th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
BA! HA! HA! HA!
September 17th, 2008 at 10:53 pm
hahahahaha XDD im kinda emoo. and that was soooo fucking funny,. and the ppl that are bittchin at ya dont under stand ur kidding. if ur not kidding then u suck. but i took it all as a joke. hahahah XD VERY AWESOME
September 18th, 2008 at 3:22 am
LMAO@emosfaces.
=] this is funny, i dont know
if it was meant to be butt i
laughed my ass off!!!!
“moan here” classic
September 22nd, 2008 at 9:52 pm
fuckyou guys
this is cruel
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:10 am
ur a fucking ignorant dick i very highly doubt anyone would be so fucking slak as to laugh at a poor innocent animal that keeps falling over cos its only got three legs ur such a prick y dont u get a life instead of being slak to other ppl just cos they dont think, act, dress or talk the way u do ur a fucking slak ass dickhead go fuck ur mum
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:50 pm
EmoLuva.
I am a genius. You are an idiot.
Emos are evil and torture animals, geddit? OK? I believe the hedgehogs you have in your microwave need another 15 minutes before they’ve turned completely into charcoal. Get to it.
September 26th, 2008 at 12:50 am
hey wtf? my friend is emo! u dont understand! they can laugh but when they get pissed off oh manno get awaay! but u dk anything about emos! thell CRY is they see a 3 legged dog. my friend has a 3legged cat. it was a stray. she took it in and told me that she was the only 1 who could feel her pain! emos laugh, emos cry. we laugh we cry. there the same as us! in a queer kind of way.
October 6th, 2008 at 11:36 pm
XD
Lol
As for all you people taking this so seriously, IT’S A JOKE.
Get it, haha?
If you don’t like it, then don’t read it.
Simple as that. >.>
I don’t hate emo children, but i don’t like them that much either.
Well, most anyway.
Some are nice.
but most have inflated ego’s.
Anyway, LOL.
October 13th, 2008 at 10:32 pm
Good on ya! This is awesome and so true.
I dont know whats worse though emos or wannabe emos??
October 14th, 2008 at 9:21 am
hey just wundering why you have to be such a meany and why do you have to constatly mock God example:They are like little moping Christs who kill themselves for your sins. Okay you can have your say about wat you think emo is but wats with the hate to God. LOVE HIM DONT MOCK HIM.
okay and one more thing emo is the best and you writing this bad “story” thing about emo isnt gonna stop people being emo. kinda pointless
and you are probably just realizing now that you have wasted your life on this website
October 14th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
fuck u asshole
October 17th, 2008 at 1:50 am
Of course emos are fucking ignorant, they can’t even spell right. Jesus, look around there’s no emos outside wannabe special, trendy kids. Try to cut deeper next time and stop the charade.
October 20th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
get your FACTS STREAGHT do you think that all we care is waching people suffer..we love to laugh and have fun,thats what makes us human,you critsize us cause were different, we like standing out from the cround it’s just who we are,-and emo just means that you more emotional that most people it dounst mean that you want to kill and wach people suffer all the time,
October 20th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
YOU NEED TO GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT. in my personal group of friends i am known as the person who laughs TO much and you know what i’m emo we are all the same our emotions are just on a deeper lavel then you conformists!!!! i’m am sick of the rude comments the sick names and all the other crap you give us we are all human we laugh (alot) we cry also i am not depressed my emoions are just more heavy then you ppls and i dress like one and another definition of emo is A PERSON WANTING TO STAND OUT !!!!! i am not kiddin’ i am a normal person like you I HAVE FEELINGS!!!!!STOP SAYING STUPID STERIOTIPICAL COMMENTS!!!!
October 23rd, 2008 at 3:31 am
its not a complaint but. its not that hard to make my emo smile and he’s pretty bad. he barly lifts his head up and he has some pretty horrible stuff going on! he has scars all over his bodyand i mean anywhere, where ever u can think their there!! and he’s tried to kill himself so many times.he’s like my life my reason to b alive so making him smile is mine main goal every day =(. but i do it by just staring at him straight in the eyes and smiling @ him so its not as hard as u make it seem. oh and ive been online for hours trying to find a site that isnt against emos and this is the first 1 thats with it!!!!!!
October 29th, 2008 at 1:41 am
come on people. emo is ridiculous. you cut yourself horizontally. obviously if you wanted to die you would cut vertically. you want attention. scars to draw attention to you. sadden other people to bring them to your level. to label a group is to have that group conform to certain standards…. that means you are conformists. you dont change the amount of sadness in the world by being sad. you do it by having fun and being happy. if someone hurts you emotionally, dont cut yourself…. cut them!!!… vertically…
November 3rd, 2008 at 10:07 pm
anyone want a hug?
November 4th, 2008 at 7:37 am
Wow! This has got a lot of lieing shit in it. I mean, come on. I was in the emo fashion and none of it was true. This place is so fucking retarded and you bitchs/bastards that made this site is so fucked up! I’m totally emo! I know emo when i see it! we emos are just too complex for your tiny minds you assholes! We have a very advanced thinking, that’s why you can’t see the truth! i bet that your fucked up on crack right now! This place is so dead! WTF!!! We are smarter than you assholes!! Your theory on how we work is completely dead!! I mean, pushing over a cripled dog is called bullying, you fucked up retards!! I laugh a lot too!! how about this, we laugh when we see the pain on your faces when we shove our foots up your asses/ass!! You dumb son-of-a-bitches!!!
November 8th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
NO I WILL NOT GIVE IN TO YOUR CRAP COMMENTS ON EMO!!!! you know nothing about us so you make stuff up!!!!!AND WE LOVE ANIMALS THATA STUPID THREE LEGED DOG THING IT MADE ME SAD AND YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE NEVER CUT IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!
November 10th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
fuck the ppl who hate emo i love the way to make emo laugh oh and kat we are smart but this is the best goddamn website ever
November 10th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
i am so fucked up its not funny the way to make me laugh is to chop one of those preppy bitches up limb by limb then at the fingers soak their hands in rubbing alcahol
November 14th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
oh my gawd im emo!
November 15th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
dude you ar so not funny
like urs emo gurl though very nice, almost classy